the vicious chicken

Yeah, I know...

2009-03-12T17:23:00.002Z

I've been rubbish. I'm sorry. I may even continue to be rubbish in the weeks ahead, and blog ridiculously sporadically. I will endeavour not to, but I just can't guarantee that I'll have anything worth saying.

Today, however, I do. Today, I want to say, "please watch the following":

If you'd like to do as they say and spend your tea-bag / fish fingers / kitchen roll / chocolate money on a red nose in aid of Comic Relief, you can do so here. Or, if red noses bring you out in a rash, but you'd still like to join in, you can donate here instead. I'm sure you all knew that already, but I just wanted to mention it. I'm going over there now myself as I want to do my bit but I don't think I can face wearing a giant red wig to work tomorrow... or sitting in a bath of beans... :o)

That is all.

Oh, except to say, do you think the Honey Monster was wearing particularly tight trousers when he filmed the above video...?

Getting Christmassy... and some long overdue "thank you"s

2008-12-21T17:20:00.000Z

Many weeks ago, I was lucky enough to meet some lovely bloggers in London, when they let me gatecrash their lunch in Covent Garden.

I was also lucky enough to receive all sorts of fabtastic gifties from said bloggers, which are now all helping to make things festive chez chicken.

This beautiful little quilt from Lesley has pride of place amid my living room decorations:

These gorgeous bracelets from Emma and Val are making my wrists all sparkly and party-like:

And this little gem from Lucy is wonderfully seasonal... although I can't bring myself to use it for its intended purpose... it's just too pretty!

In other Christmas news, we have adorned Spike the Vicious Houseplant with his annual garb of glittery baubles:

And this afternoon we have made one hundred Christmas biscuits (this picture is only about half of the total):

We still have to add icing, but after several hours in the kitchen already, my enthusiasm has started to wane... bulk-catering obviously isn't my calling...

However, my festive spirit is still strong as an ox, so it just remains for me to say:

Happy Christmas to anyone who has stopped by to read this - may you have a lovely time over Christmas, and wishing you all happiness for 2009.

VCxx

You might expect...

2008-12-16T17:16:00.000Z

... that after a month of blog silence, I'd return with something momentous and wonderful.

And you'd be right! I'm here to urge you to click on a link that will enable you to watch something very wonderful indeed.

Oh, and you might want to put the kettle on :o)

VCxx

(Sorry this momentous breaking-of-blog-silence isn't a bit longer, or more pretty: I have urgent Christmas knitting deadlines that I must attend to...)

Can't blog... far too busy behaving like a headless chicken...

2008-11-13T18:45:00.000Z

Sorry bloggers - having tantalised you with a promise of post-shower journal pics I'm going to have to postpone that treat because I'm far too busy this evening, with two Very Important Things.

Very Important Thing number one is that I am getting in a flap because I don't know what to wear tomorrow for my graduation ceremony - any ideas on what goes well with a flat hat??

Gratuitous graduation-themed picture

Also, if I wear my pointy pointy shoes, how much d'you think they'd increase my chances of falling flat on my face as I climb onto the stage? And is it worth the risk to wear them anyway (bearing in mind that they are very very nice pointy pointy shoes)?

Gratuitous picture of pointy-pointy shoes (kindly modeled by HP8: because I couldn't bring myself to take a picture of just the shoes...)

Very Important Thing number two is a very pressing knitting-deadline-related issue. Which would be OK in itself, but every time I knit lately I keep getting the Blazing Dragons theme in my head. If you are feeling brave then you can find out why by watching the video below; but I warn you that it is very, very irritating (so if you do watch it, you will understand why I wish I could get it out of my head!!)

Right, off to go and hunt through my wardobe now for something appropriate to wear to meet a Vice Chancellor...

Cheerio...
VCxx

"... that doesn't rhyme... that's OK... we're gonna sing it anyway!..." *sobs quietly to self as song refuses to leave head*

Hello...

2008-11-09T17:48:00.000Z

Hello, my friends! It's been such a while. It wasn't meant to be, but first I went away for a few days, and then I was ill, and then I had to go away again (and I was still ill), and then I came home and thought I was better but very soon had a relapse and was ill some more... and to cut a long story short, now it is now, and I have emerged from my sick bed feeling much better, thanks, if still a bit worn around the edges.

But anyway: a belated "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" to everyone who left lovely comments on my last post. In answer to various questions: I have no idea when the big day will be yet, because the NBM and I have been a little bit rubbish on the actual planning side of things... so far we've just been enjoying having sparkly sparkly rings, but we will be getting down to the nitty gritty very soon. Or as soon as I can persuade the NBM to start thinking about it. However, I love the idea of having an online celebration complete with virtual confetti, so I will do my best to sort out something of that ilk :o)

And to Charlie: type of cake is obviously a very important decision, and one which I wouldn't like to take lightly - certainly not without a great deal of meticulous research and copius sampling of all possible options ;o)

In other news, being ill has given me ample time to wreck my journal, so I have lots of updates for you. They are not all photographed yet, but I do have a couple that are ready. Firstly, I realised I forgot to show you the instructions page before:

One of the first tasks I got down to was this:

However, I decided to do each page number differently, so it actually took me a veeery long time to get around to finishing it. Which meant that I was only about halfway through page numbering when I took the plunge and did the task that scared me the most:

It was stressful. Very stressful. But I managed to see it through*:

So, tune in next time for pictures of my (very crinkly and splodgy) post-shower journal...

*Please don't look too closely at the mould growing around our bath, OK? In my defence, may I just point out that I have scrubbed it and scoured it and squirted cleaning things at it, but nothing doing. It seems to be ingrained in the sealant. If you have any suggestions for removing it, please do let me know...

Reasons to be cheerful...

2008-10-20T21:27:00.000+01:00

... in three parts*.

Part 1...

Back by popular demand! Hurrah!

Part 2...

My new gloves:

So soft and cosy!

So pretty!

And yes, I know I shouldn't really have bought them because

a) I could have made something veeeery similar myself, and
b) they are mass-produced and from a big(ish) chain

BUT, in my defence, if I'd tried to make them myself I probably wouldn't have got round to finishing them until next spring, by which time they'd have been unecessary anyway. And, they're just sooooo soft and luvverly.... so can I be let off, please?

And finally......

Part 3...

As of last weekend, my left hand is now considerably sparklier than it used to be:

Sparkly sparkly

*Part 3 is my favourite :o)

Wreck this journal - it begins

2008-10-09T22:03:00.002+01:00

Remember I said that in a bid for creativity, I was going to try and be a bit more destructive, through the medium of a copy of Wreck this journal? Well, my journal finally arrived at the weekend, and I was keen to get stuck in and complete some of the tasks.

First, I followed an instruction that I found VERY difficult:

However, it was quite cathartic and I felt all liberated afterwards :o) I cracked it once....

and then twice....

and then a whole lot of other times just for good measure!

Next, I completed a slightly easier one:

And I've done a couple of others too, but I'll have to save those for next time as the NBM is getting grumpy and wants me to leave the computer alone now.

We're going away for the weekend, but I will be taking my journal with me, and I will try to do a journal-wrecking update when we get back. Bye for now....

Wednesday giggles

2008-10-01T20:10:00.000+01:00

OK, so I know this is too late for ITLAP Day, but...

Well, it made me laugh, anyway :o) It is from the ever-wonderful Savage Chickens site.

And, because I'm in a cartoony moody (you'll probably need to click on this one to make it big enough to read):

It is by Roz Chast, and the NBM found it here. I think that both of my Grandmas could probably relate to it on a very personal level :o)

In Mojo news: thank you all for your kind words of support at this difficult time. Sadly, it's still AWOL. I had a good look for it at the weekend, but it wasn't at bikefest in Cheddar, where our crazy friend was spending 10 hours cycling up a gert big hill and then zooming back down again, far too fast (the energentic fool), and neither was it in Morrisons at Cribbs Causeway, or in the enormously long queue at the bank (it was a *very* exciting weekend, as I'm sure you can tell). I've got a few tip-offs though, so I'm hoping to track it down soon.

Must go now, but leaving you with a thought-for-the-day, courtesy of my Dad, who saw it on a sign outside a cafe:

"The future is uncertain. Eat dessert first!"

Wise words, indeed :o)

Has anyone seen my crafty mojo??

2008-09-26T19:24:00.001+01:00

Because I seem to have lost it somewhere :o(

I'm fairly sure I had it a while ago... I think I remember that I used to quite like knitting things (mainly little monkeys and hairy-face-furniture, if memory serves...?). And, according to my bloggy archives, it appears that I may also have tried my hand at other crafty things: I've found evidence of rudimentary jewellery-making, sock origami, bra-embroidery, and pretending to be a card maker.

But, I've searched high and low and the mojo is definitely now in hiding. Please let me know if you find it, and tell it to come home. I'll even consider re-negotiating its contract and offering it free biscuits.

In the meantime, however, I have been inspired to order a copy of this after looking at some amazing and beautiful pictures here, and when it arrives I will attempt to be creative with it (in a destructive kind of way, obviously!) I'll also have a whirl at putting together some little wooly hats and see if they might tempt my mojo back home.

And just cos it looks a bit wordy without, here is a gratuitous picture of a monkey in an octohat:

Off to go and knit something similar but a bit less tentacley...
VCxx

PS. Was about to sign off when I remembered I really wanted to link to this. Please go and watch it. I'll wait.

*humming*

Oooh, you're back. Did you watch the clip? I love this remix - it's so funny - even better than the original Phil Collins version :o)

OK, awkward rambling PS over now...

Byeeee...

(***edited to add: if the video won't load, there's another version here, although it's slightly lower quality***)

Don't forget!

2008-09-19T09:41:00.002+01:00

Today be a very special day, folks! Yarrr :o)

Yarr, it be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! The most piratey day o' the year! Avast! Do enjoy it, mateys!

An' for those o' ye that be interested in yarrr-n (*giggle*), why not pick up yer sticks, an' go Knit like a Pirate? Hooray! Knit on, me hearties :o)

An' shiver me timbers. Or something.*
VCxx

PS. If ye be wanting t'promote ITLAP day in "workplaces with no sense of pirattitude" (in the words of the official ITLAP website), there be a subtle an' brilliant poster, here. It tickled me more than a jellyfish's tenticles. Yarr.

*It be harder than it looks to talk like a pirate. I did me best.

I am very proud of my knees

2008-09-15T21:35:00.001+01:00

Now, please don't think I have finally lost the plot. The title of this post is perfectly sane. I am proud of my knees because they did not give way under me yesterday when I made them carry me 13.1 miles round the Bristol Half Marathon.

Some of you may remember that I did this run last year, and at the time I wasn't sure if I'd ever run that far again. However, yesterday morning I found myself lining up with nearly 16,000 others on Anchor Road, contemplating the more-than-two-hours of plodding that lay ahead. And on the first warm and sunny day we've had in weeks, too; just when I'd got used to running in torrential rain!

But anyway, the long-story-short is that I finished, and that I am still on speaking terms with my knees, for which I am very thankful.

And for those of you who wish I would shut up about my knees and get back to knitting-based-pursuits, here is a picture NBM took of me in the runners' village, looking perplexed by the words spray-painted onto the ground:

(For those of you who can't read it, it says "knitting needles")

(oh, and please don't laugh at my oh-so-fetching ~~silver skirt~~ space blanket)

Knitting needles, eh? Hmm.... But running with your knitting needles is very dangerous, surely?? How odd. And quite apart from that clear health-and-safety issue: where, in fact, were these promised knitting needles? It was a mystery.

...... Or at least, it would have been, had I not been standing in the very same spot one week before, watching this:

Some very, very large knitting. Very large indeed.

Mystery solved :o)

If I've done my sums right...

2008-09-06T20:32:00.001+01:00

... then my blog is exactly one year old today. And also - quite by chance - this appears to be my 150th post.

If I'd been a bit more organised, I'd have put together a giveaway for this occasion, it being the perfect opportunity to do so. Sadly, though, I'm not. So I haven't.

Instead, you can have the promise of a belated giveaway, sometime in the not-too-distant future :o)

And for those of you who prefer instant gratification, please go here to watch a brilliant short cartoon that is suitably celebratory.

Heck, because I'm feeling generous, you can also have this very informative video showing how balloons are made... because balloons are celebratory too, right?

Wow - it's complicated, innit? I shall never look at a balloon in the same way again...

I'm still here

2008-09-05T18:33:00.000+01:00

Sheesh, I've been such a bad blogger lately. But I am still here, honest...

I had a good time seeing my Gran in Shetland, where I spotted a goodly number of Shetland Bumblebees:

For all you Latin fans out there, this subspecies is Bombus muscorum agricolae (I think).

And when I got home, I was even more excited to find that my Bumblegarden had become populated with not one, but two happy little buzzers:

Buzz

Buzz 2

And here's a group shot, to prove that the above pics are not just two different angles on the same bee:

Buzz (on the left) and Buzz 2 (on the right)

(Latin-fans: the flavour of these guys is either Bombus terrestris or Bombus lucorum... I can't tell the difference with absolute confidence... and I believe the best way to do so involves dissection... which probably isn't much fun for the bumbles...).

Sadly, they shuffled off their little bumbly mortal coils about a week ago - as bumbles tend to at this time of year - so the garden is now very empty again. *Sigh*. Roll on next Spring...

The flip side is that I might shut up about bumbles now for a while - so it's safe to some back again soon in the hope I'll have posted something a bit different :o)

Which is what I want to finish up with actually. Is anyone else disconcerted by this picture of our oven clock, spotted at midnight a few weeks ago:

What kind of a time is that?? 00:00, surely...?

Bumblewatch

2008-08-09T22:10:00.002+01:00

My bumble garden has had disappointing results so far: it's attracted several hoverflies, a couple of bluebottles, and heaps of wasps.... but no bumbles. Hmph.

However, luckily I saw lots and lots and lots of bumbles in Cornwall, when we went there last week for a little holiday (look away now if you don't like pictures of fuzzy insects...)

We saw this one:

and this one:

and this one:

and then this one, busily cleaning her tongue:

... but I have to say, this last one came as a wee bit of a shock:

Anyway, that's all my bumbling about for the time being; I'm now going away again for a week or so to visit my Grandma, so I'm afraid my blog will be a little quiet (again) for a while. But I'll be here when I get back.

Cheerio for now :o)
VCxx

Connections

2008-07-22T21:03:00.001+01:00

I was reading Lauren's post today, and it reminded me of the following video (for reasons that will become clear if you read Lauren's post and watch the clip):

I *heart* Bill Bailey :o) I saw him live once and I laughed so much during his show that I was in actual physical pain by the end of the evening (but it was *so* worth it). I particularly liked this bit:

Anyway, that's probably enough Bill for one post.

In other news, I have developed a minor new obsession - for bumblebees. Its all about the bumbling here at the moment. So much so that I seem to have neglected my blogging duties again - too busy staring out of the window hoping that a bumble might bumble past, or even stray into my new bumblebee garden. Technically speaking, said garden is just a large pot of lavender and a small variegated thyme in a windowbox, but such is the limitation of a second-floor flat. I have had a couple of visitors, but they've bumbled off again too quickly for me to take their photos to share with you. But I'll be trying to snap the next ones that come along.

Must go. I keep thinking I hear buzzing when I stray too far from the window. Bumble bumble bumble......

A packaging gimmick that might just catch on...

2008-07-14T20:10:00.000+01:00

(With many thanks to my Dad for providing the above bar - which is now, sadly, long since consumed and gone...)

Click on the picture for a bigger version and read the small print. It'll make you smile :o)

SunWalk report

2008-07-07T18:55:00.002+01:00

Sorry I didn't get this post put up last night - I caught the sun on the walk (despite covering myself in suncream before going out - obviously wasn't a high enough factor!) and spent yesterday afternoon/evening feeling a bit worn out and headachey. But I'm not complaining, because I'm just glad that there was enough sun for me to end up with shoulders like this....

.... given that the day started off like this:

Amazingly, by the time the walk itself started, the blue skies had broken through:

Over the following four hours, while we were walking, the weather continued to be highly changeable, but our spirits remained high through it all. We smiled through the sun.....

..... and through the rain....

..... and I smiled a lot at my walking buddy, particularly when she was gesturing with her banana:

It was hard not to smile on such a brilliant day, surrounded by wonderful, cheerful people doing something so fantastic.

Amazingly, walking along wearing your bra feels oddly normal when you're part of a long crocodile of other folk doing just the same. I was still a little nervous, but it felt quite liberating, too :o)

I want to leave you with the quotation that was on the back of my medal, which made me think of all you lovely bloggers when I read it:

"Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself."

- Anonymous

Keep spreading that jam, bloggers :o)

You guys are the best

2008-07-05T22:25:00.000+01:00

Wow! I've been touched and overwhelmed by all the fabulous support that blogland has provided for my SunWalk tomorrow - many, many "thank you!"s to you all :o)

If you took part in working mom knits' giveaway, do go and see if you are one of her winners. Congratuations to those who have won, and big thanks to WMK for being so kind as to host the giveaway - you're a star, WMK!

Your bra decorating suggestions were all brilliant - it's a shame that I couldn't incorporate them all in my final design. In the end, I think Michaela's and mrspao's suggestions came closest to what I was already working towards.

So, without further ado, I present to you my "over shoulder boulder holder" work of art:

English Country Bra-den

I'm sorry to be so brief, but I need to go and sleep now as it's an early start in the morning. I will try to post an update tomorrow to show you how things went.

Once again, thank you all so much - and I'll be thinking of your supportive comments on my way around the course tomorrow!

VCxx

Bra update

2008-07-01T23:05:00.000+01:00

Thanks ever so much for all your excellent suggestions on the bra decorating front. Thank you slightly less for the knitted-beard-as-disguise idea. While I appreciate that you were intending to protect my modesty, I can't help thinking that donning instant whiskers (patent pending) may just have the effect of drawing MORE attention to myself. And even worse, I suspect things might get a bit warm and uncomfortable inside the beard after 13 miles.

Anyway, cracking swiftly on... and before I get onto the bra update I'd planned, I must share with you the very exciting news that has just dropped into my inbox: Working Mom Knits is holding a giveaway - in association with my bra-walk! Hurrah!! Do pop over and have a peek... it's over here. Thanks for thinking of me, WMK!

But now, I'm sure you're all desperate to know how the bra's coming along, yes? Well, the answer would be slooooowly, so I don't yet have any finished-article pics. What I do have is a series of snaps documenting phase one of the work-in-progress, which I shall be subtitling:

"VC's rather unsuccessful foray into fabric-dying"

Before we kick off, I'll give you a hint about the moral of the story: it involves remembering to read all the instructions before you begin. And then following them.

My 'before' shot shows that things started off very well. I consulted the guidelines and got out everything I would need:

I'd splashed out on a new pair of marigolds, I'd bulked up my fabric weight by adding a pillowcase and some knickers to my bra, I'd laughed heartily at the man in baby-blue shorts pictured on the box of dye - I was ready.

Next up, I have a 'during' shot:

Here you can see my old yellow pillowcase starting to go green as the blue dye begins to take. You probably can't see the bra. That is because I had hidden it under the pillowcase so that I couldn't see it and get stressed out about how IT WASN'T CHANGING COLOUR!!

At this point, I was repeating a mantra along the lines of: "OK... so... don't panic... just keep 'agitating the fabric and forcing the dye through it', like it says in the instructions... it'll be fine... *panicky breathing*... why is it STILL NOT BLUE??"

And, well, it turns out that I should have read the fabric type on the bra label before I bought the dye, and taken into consideration that the polyester/nylon/elastene blend might not take the colour all that well. I did know that some fibres wouldn't really dye properly, but I seem to have adopted an attitude of blind optimism about the whole thing, and assumed that this bra would 'blue up' just fine, whatever dye I used.

In the end, it did work a little bit, albeit to varying degrees in different areas. So, here's my 'after' shot: one ever-so-slightly-blue-except-where-it's-still-white bra...

Soon after this shot was taken, I started sewing some bits on - but the fruits of my labours will have to wait until next time, I think. You'll like it, though. Really. The actual sewing may not be very good, but I feel that I had a very strong design vision. I drew sketches and everything. Oh yes - I've learned from my mistakes. No more winging it for this chicken: only proper planning and meticulous research from now on... or something like that, anyway ;o)

Getting it all out in the open

2008-06-26T20:22:00.004+01:00

A little while ago, in a fit of energetic enthusiasm, I signed up for the Bristol SunWalk. If you haven't heard of this, you may be aware of its big sister, the MoonWalk, which is a walking marathon that is held overnight. The SunWalk - as the name suggests - is a daytime version, and it also covers shorter distances: there's a 5k and a 10k, as well as a half marathon (or 13.1 miles), which is what I'll be doing.

I signed up for this event because the cause is important to me - the event is run by Walk the Walk, which is a grant-making charity that benefits a range of breast cancer causes (if you're interested, you can read more about their work here). Several years ago, a good friend of mine lost her fight against this disease, and recently I have known too many people who have been hit with it - although the good news is that more and more folk seem to be coming out the other side.

The trademark of Walk the Walk events is that participants are encouraged to walk wearing highly-decorated bras. It's just over a week until the SunWalk, and my walking pack arrived a few days ago, containing my bra to decorate. So, the main crafty activity that has been going on chez chicken has involved planning for bra-adornments, so that I can turn this...

... into something a bit more like some of the designs on display here. I have quite a few ideas knocking around in my head, but if anyone has any good decoration-suggestions, I'd love to hear them! The colour scheme for the event is not what you'd call subtle, as you can see from the hat I have to wear:

I'm tempted to make my bra a bit more subdued, but maybe I'll throw caution to the winds and attempt to co-ordinate!

And speaking of throwing caution to the winds, I'm starting to get very nervous about the whole prospect of walking through the centre of Bristol on a Sunday afternoon with my undergarments on show. It's far scarier than the actual walking-13-and-a-bit-miles thing (although that is making me pretty antsy, too...)

Anyway, I've rambled on quite a bit now, but one last thing: just in case anyone would like to sponsor me, I've added a widgety link in my sidebar to the online fundraising page I've created. Do feel free to pop over and have a look. Also, if you happen to have any particularly rich and philanthropic friends, do please point them in my direction :o)

Anyway, I'm going to shut up now and go and rootle through my crafty supplies: I've got me a bra to decorate....

Back on the blogwagon...

2008-06-25T21:24:00.001+01:00

Hello all,

AWOL chicken here, reporting for duty again... after quite a long time away.

Ever since I finished my dissertation, I've had much more free time (especially during the fortnight that NBM was away), but I've been finding it quite a challenge to actually get on with anything in said free time. I've been flitting about and doing odds and ends, but I haven't really accomplished anything note-worthy or blog-worthy. Equally, I've fallen by the wayside with blogging itself. I'm just hoping that my blogging mojo will return at some point soon.

So, I'm not feeling especially inspired, but I'm checking in just to say hello. And to find out whether squatters have moved into my blog whilst I've been gone :o)

I do also have a quick pic to share, in the form of ISTWIWOAAAILI Saturdays #5 - this week, brought to you in the very rare and exclusive Wednesday edition!

More street art (with a rather dapper-looking gentleman in the background - although he does mar the look a little with the addition of the Sains bag, I feel). I love street art. I warn you now, I have quite a lot of other street art piccies stored up for future ISTWIWOAAAILI posts. But I'll try and spread them out a bit, for those of you who aren't so keen :o)

Anyway, that's all for now... but, like Arnie: I'll be back :o)

ISTWIWOAAAILI Saturdays #4

2008-06-14T21:10:00.000+01:00

This week: puppy sculpture! Hurrah!

I'm glad you all seemed to enjoy the stone fish / dolphin / dragon picture last week. To answer the various questions: it's not at ground level - it's actually quite high up, above the doorway of a building, so looking closely is a bit tricky. And yes, Charlie P, it's in Bristol - you can have a very small prize if you can work out where!

In other news, the NBM is back - a little grumpy from the jet-lag, but otherwise right as rain. Only she's standing here looking like she wants a shot on the computer, so I'd best pootle off.

Cheerio for now...

ISTWIWOAAAILI Saturdays #3

2008-06-07T19:20:00.001+01:00

I like this stone. A lot. I walk past it every day, but I didn't really look at it properly until recently. Funny how that happens sometimes. Anyway, now I can't stop looking at it! I particularly like the flared nostrils :o)

'I saw this when I was out and about and I liked it' Saturdays #2

2008-05-31T20:51:00.001+01:00

Not a special plant, there was something very beautiful about the colour combinations, especially after a downpour of very heavy rain.

A bid for freedom... and a request for advice

2008-05-30T11:58:00.000+01:00

My girl is going away. All the way to America for two weeks, with work.

The monkeys don't want her to leave.

I don't want her to leave either :o(

On the up side, I will have all the time I want to knit, and read blogs, and watch Columbo (the NBM is not a fan - the philistine). But I'm still sad that she's going.

But anyhoo, moving on to the other part of my post title: I'm after some advice from any sewists reading this. I want to buy some scissors for cutting fabric, and I'm not sure what I should get. If you sew: what types / sizes / makes of fabric scissors do you use? And do you like what you have? Any info gratefully received as I don't have a clue :o)

Oops, better go - NBM needs help packing...

Introducing a new Saturday feature...

2008-05-24T19:36:00.001+01:00

... that, for want of a better title, I will be calling:

'I saw this when I was out and about and I liked it' Saturdays

Now that I have a camera of my own, I've been looking out for things to snap that I see when I'm out and about, and I've been surprised by how many little things I've spotted that are interesting, or inspiring, or amusing, or just look good.

So without further ado, here is ISTWIWOAAAILI Saturdays #1:

Not the best picture, but you'll see why I like it :o)

Rightio, I need to go and prepare myself for this evening's spectacular cultural event. But one quick thing before I go: Karen Lizzie, I don't know if you'll read this, but thank you for your very moving comment on my last post (and thanks also to others who left kind comments about my 10k run).

Over and out for now,
VCxx

The Vicious Magpie

2008-05-20T22:07:00.001+01:00

Some of you may remember that I have a fondness for shiny, shiny things. Some may also remember, however, that my two best shiny, shiny things got reappropriated by various knitted monkeys.

This weekend I succumbed (again) to the lure of the shiny, shiny thing:

This one I didn't have to run quite so far for - just 10k - but it's still lovely and shiny. I plan to keep it well out of the monkeys' reach this time :o)

In other news, the pictures in this post are brought to you by MY NEW CAMERA! Which, in fact, is the same camera that was used to take all the other pics on my entire blog... but the thing is, the NBM has upgraded to a new camera, and so I've inherited her old Canon Ixus - my first digital camera :o)

And in other other news: is anyone else excited about this....?

... because I am! Bit geeky, I know - but I'm not sorry! ;o)

VCxx

PS. Sewing is progressing, but nothing to show-and-tell as yet. Watch this space.

You'll never believe this

2008-05-16T19:10:00.000+01:00

... but I'm down to my last box of tea!! Panic stations... must go out tomorrow and buy myself one of these:

In other news, I'm afraid I can't hang about: I've got sewing to do! So exciting! All will be revealed when my project is finished. If you feel like placing bets on when that will be, do please go ahead - based on past form, I'll start the ball rolling with 5th July, 2013... *sigh*

Happy weekend :o)

Birthday reprised

2008-05-13T22:22:00.001+01:00

Now, it may have been a little while since my birthday, but I haven't yet had a chance to show you any of the great gifts I was given.

One of my friends gave me a book that I think may appeal to many of you:

I'm really looking forward to drawing inspiration from it - there's something so exciting about sock creatures!

My NBM, knowing my love for a certain raincoat-wearing detective, gave me these:

The lovely Monkee Maker gave me all these monkey goodies:

The picture doesn't do it justice, but I really love the brilliant monkee pouch / bag - and it has secret kitten lining!

And then just this morning, a parcel arrived from Lauren, containing this great card and tasty chocolate:

So, to anyone and everyone who gave me a gift or a card, or who left good birthday wishes here on my blog - THANK YOU! So far, being 25 has been just super :o)

Celebrating...

2008-05-08T20:14:00.000+01:00

... through the medium of fabric shopping.

I don't really know exactly what I'm going to make with it... but I didn't want to let such a minor detail spoil a perfectly good stash-boosting opportunity :o)

Nearly there

2008-05-06T20:59:00.001+01:00

Hello! If you're still here - thanks for waiting! (and sorry about the thick layer of dust that has accumulated on my blog pages while I've been gone. I do hope none of you have allergies. If so, do please feel free to sneeze quietly in a corner.)

So, as I have been chained to a desk for the past few weeks, I'm afraid the only thing I have created recently, and can therefore show you a picture of, is this:

Two shiny copies of my dissertation, printed and bound and ready for the off on Thursday. It kind of does what it says on the tin. I'd share more of it, if only it was a bit more interesting. I wish I had degree stuff that was as amazing and visually-shareable as Gina's stunning work. But I don't. I do have quite a nice map in appendix K, but other than that - fairly bland.

But the main thing is that it is done, all 17,500 words of it (or 25,000 including the appendices, or 25million including all the thousands of drafts I made, and the bizarre notes I left for myself on iddy biddy bits of paper). And now all I have to do is:

make sure it doesn't spontaneously combust before Thursday, and
try to stop worrying that I've accidentally typed a really rude swear word on page seven. Which is fairly unlikely, but you never know.

Blimey, though, I have new-found respect for authors - how anybody writes entire books is beyond me. I know I couldn't write that much. Although some of you may find that hard to believe after ploughing through some of my more rambling blog posts ;o)

And on that note, I think I'd better shut up :o)

Might go and check page seven again, just to be on the safe side...

Guest Post Three: Guilty Pleasures (or are you rrrready!)

2008-04-29T21:27:00.001+01:00

Hello again devoted readers of the blog of the ill-tempered fowl,

Today, I am going to let you in on a little secret about VC and me...

We love American Gladiators!!! Okaaaay, I love it and cheer at the contenders on the telly, but VC is slightly more restrained and prefers to poke fun at the muscle bound hulks...

Below, for your viewing pleasure, are two of the ~~lovely~~ scary specimens themselves, compared to two well known characters - do let us know if you think the comparison is accurate!

Ken.............................Titan

Vicky.............................Fury

Even better news, Gladiators is coming back, with the wonderful (VC made me put that in) John Anderson - woo yeah! Takes me back to childhood Saturday evenings cheering with my folks oop North :o)

Anyhoo, that's all from me, until next time,

NBM xx

Treading water

2008-04-23T17:50:00.000+01:00

Thanks so much to everyone who left me birthday wishes on my last post - it was so lovely to receive them all and they helped make my day a happy one.

It's now only a couple of weeks until my big deadline. Almost everything is done, but I still have quite a lot of loose ends to tie up so I think it will be a busy fortnight trying to keep my head above water. I do hope you will all bear with me as I am hoping to return to my blog with renewed enthusiasm once I have some free time again!

In the meantime, there are still things to smile about: the sun is shining and shining, I have lots of chocolate left from my birthday, and I saw a bumble bee with a fuzzy orange bottom on my way home today (simple mind, simple pleasures...)

See you soon...

Third day in a row!

2008-04-15T10:03:00.000+01:00

Yes, I'm meant to be working... but instead, here I am posting again on the THIRD CONSECUTIVE DAY! Wow. That never used to happen, even before I took my bloggy sabbatical.

I am here because today is a special day and I felt I couldn't let such an auspicious occasion go unmarked.

If you're on the other side of the pond from me, I know what you're thinking - Happy Tax Day, right??

Hooray! Tax!! Happy, happy day. Hope it's a jolly one for ya ;o)

..... although actually, there was something else. Another reason why I logged on. It is also my birthday today. (Thought I'd make it all small as I don't like to make a fuss. And I wouldn't want to tread on the toes of any hardcore celebrations over the tax thing. )

(Thanks, Lesley!)

I share a birthday with some groovy people, like Leonardo da Vinci, which is quite fun. But also some less-then-groovy people (depending on your point of view, I suppose), like Jeffrey Archer. Also, some pretty sucky stuff happened - like the sinking of the Titanic, f'rinstance. But nevertheless, I think it's a super day for a birthday.

(Thanks, NBM!)

Today I turn 25. Although technically - technically - I'm still a sprightly 24 until about half nine this evening. Stickler for the details, me. I read some very interesting things about the number 25 here. Sadly, I understood very few of the Maths ones... but I was glad to learn that 25 is the atomic number for manganese. That little piece of trivia will no doubt come in mighty handy one of these days.

(Thanks, Dad!)

Anyhoo, now I've learned all that stuff I never needed to know about the number 25, and suitably marked the tax day (woo! tax!), I'd better step away from the Internet and return to work.

Until next time, VCxx

You have to laugh...

2008-04-14T18:39:00.000+01:00

Sofa, so good

2008-04-13T18:20:00.004+01:00

This week we bought our first ever sofa. It felt like a very grown-up thing to do.

One of Ikea's ~~finest~~ cheapest.

Right, well: I know this is a short post, but that's all I have to say. And anyway, I can't be hanging round here chatting.... I have a new(ish) sofa to go and sit on! See you soon.....
VCxx

PS. Apologies for that truly awful pun.

Guest post 2 - Monkeying Around at Bristol Zoo!

2008-04-11T10:55:00.001+01:00

Greetings All,

NBM here again - I have been let loose on VC's blog to break her hiatus due to the excess of work she has to do for her ~~dissertation~~ oops - I shouldn't mention the D-word... She is doing v well though and I am v proud of her for working full time as well as writing it :)

Anyway, enough of me waxing lyrical about VC, onto what you've all been waiting for - my monkehs meeting the monkeys at the zoo.

The monkehs (Wilmington in particular) do like meeting animals of the aquatic variety so I thought I would treat Rose and the monkeh who lives at work with me (he doesn't get out much, you know, as he lives in a drawer at weekends when I forget to bring him home...) to a trip out in the sunshine last weekend.

As soon as we got into the zoo the little critters escaped in an attempt to reach monkeh nirvana:

...wow - I wish we could go play in there...

They were so pleased to be running wild and free that I couldn't keep control of them at all, and they snuck off to have romantic moment in the trees:

...oops - you found us...

These two are obviously becoming firm friends and next they ran off to see how ~~tall~~ short they were:

...save us NBM, all these animals are huuuge!...

So of course, I came to the rescue (after a bit of laughing of course!) and took them to see the very non-scary little mice in the (zoo) kitchen...

...poo, these things stink!...

After all the excitement our last stop was to see this:

...Mummy!...

I think you'll agree, Rose seemed quite taken by the Gorilla mum and baby :)

That's me for now, VC will be back soon, over and out!

NBM xx

Sabbatical

2008-04-07T22:00:00.001+01:00

Well, where did that week go, then?? I'm so sorry I've been away for so long... I don't know quite how a WHOLE WEEK passed since last I blogged, I really don't.

Unfortunately, even though I don't have a note from my mum, I'm going to have to request that I be excused from blogland for a little bit longer. Just a little bit.

I will try to be back soon, when I will bring the seven random facts that I owe Melissa (I've been thinking about them, honestly! I only have two or three facts so far but I do have a theme and it is the Best Theme Ever. Fact.)

In the meantime I may try to persuade the NBM to do a guest post, as she has lots of excellent photos from this weekend. She took this and one of these on a trip to here. You have been warned.

Little Rosie Probert*

2008-04-01T21:13:00.000+01:00

The NBM's monkey, blending in on the sofa:

And hanging out with the locals:

*The NBM would like me to make it clear that her monkey is not, in fact, called Little Rosie Probert. She is called Rose. I just think that Little Rosie Probert has a nice ring to it - and it lends itself so easily to the TLA format! Good old LRP ;o)

A brief update

2008-03-29T20:27:00.001Z

I have so many things I would like to post about... but most of them really need pictures, and unfortunately my NBM has gone away this weekend (again!) and taken the camera with her. Which is fair enough really, as it is hers. So, I'll jut have to hang fire on those things until after the weekend.

Anyhoo, speaking of the NBM, thanks so much to everyone who left kind birthday wishes for her - she was very pleased and really enjoyed reading them all. Also, thanks to those of you who expressed interest in seeing the contents of her birthday gift... which is sitting next to me as I type, but you'll just have to wait until the camera gets back to see a piccie.

The other non-picture-reliant thing I wanted to say is to apologise for the sporadic nature of my blog posts recently, and of my comments on all your blogs. It's due to a large amount of work that I'm trying to get done, and I should also aplogise in advance, because it is likely to continue until my final deadline in May. After that, I'll be stalking you all again with alarming regularity ;o)

Rightio, just before I go and watch some of the Top Gear Polar Challenge (so funny!), I have a link for anyone who:

a) liked the Owl cartoon in my last post
b) also likes monkeys.

If the above applies to you, then this might appeal to you... although I don't think it's quite as good as the other Owl cartoon.

Or, if you fancy something a little more interactive... PG Tips monkey game, anyone?

Hapy weekend
VCxx

It's sad, but it's still funny...

2008-03-26T18:06:00.000Z

Happy Birthday NBM!

2008-03-23T09:57:00.000Z

Today is the NBM's birthday (it seems to be a good day for birthdays in blogland), and I thought I'd post a quick Happy Birthday for her here, while she's on the phone to her Mum (a notoriously lengthy activity).

So, Happy Birthday NBM!! Have a lovely day :o)

Can you guess what I gave her for her birthday?

She's finally come round to my monkey way of thinking :o)

And to everyone else: Happy Easter! Hope you all have lovely days, too. And just before I go, here's my other chickeney gift that I promised to show-and-tell, which I saved for today's post because of its Eastery theme:

The perfect Easter egg for a vicious chicken - thanks so much, Monkee Maker :o)

More fabulous chickeney giftage

2008-03-20T18:32:00.002Z

You may remember that Working Mom Knits sent me some chicken-themed goodies last week, which were super. Well, the chickeney gifts just keep coming! Bloggers are so very kind.

I recently bought a beautiful bag from Moogsmum's etsy shop:

Well, actually I bought two, but let's not tell my bank manager that, shall we? Anyway, when the bag above arrived yesterday, I found that the lovely Lesley had sent it along under armed guard: it was protected on the journey by a brilliantly vicious chicken!!

He comes complete with tough-guy 'tattoos' on both wings, and a rather scary-looking gun:

Hmm. I wouldn't like to meet him in a dark alley, would you??

As soon as he got here, he rounded up the Monkey Army and set to work trying to teach the troops some properly vicious tips and tricks.....

.... which they listened to very politely, but I don't think their little wooly hearts were in it, to be honest. As armies go, they're quite soft, bless them.

In fact, they were rather shocked, and concluded that Little VC had some serious anger-management issues. Being kindly souls, they wanted to help him address his problems, and they suggested that a soothing cup of (knitted) tea might be just the ticket to help Little VC relax a little......

... but he was less than convinced, and stormed off....

..... to think vicious thoughts and do vicious deeds. *Gulp*.

So, thanks ever so much for the kind gift, Lesley.... but do you have any hints for keeping him in line?? Because I'm typing this from the safety of the back room, where the Monkey Army and I have barricaded ourselves. Little VC is wreaking havoc in the rest of the flat, and the NBM won't be back to rescue us until tomorrow. We're quite scared.

On a lighter note, do tune in again, as my next post will contain details of yet more chicken gifts! Provided, of course, that the Monkeys' barricade holds firm, and we don't get overcome by Little VC. Which is doubtful, come to think of it, as they built it from teabags.....

Somebody please send help. Soon.

Time to myself

2008-03-17T21:22:00.000Z

The NBM has gone away for the week, so I have time to myself. Which is kind of turning into time on my hands, unfortunately.... somehow it's not been as great having the flat to myself as I had hoped it might be.

However, my kind friend Monkee Maker took pity on me being a Billy No Mates, and yesterday she let me hang out at her place for a while, which was just lovely. By which I mean that being there was lovely - but she has a very beautiful home, too. It was almost - almost - enough to make me want to tidy up my tip of a flat when I got home.... but, sadly, laziness prevailed. Kitty, I think I may have fallen foul of that Lazy Slut Disorder you so often mention. It's a terrible affliction, isn't it? Do you know if there's a cure?

But anyway, I'm rambling... suffice to say that I had a grand time at the monkee house, chatting and knitting in good company. And MM, it was really great to meet you, and RGH, and the RBDs. And 007, obviously :o)

On a completely unrelated note, I've just had a little trawl through my old photos to see if I could find something appropriate to end this post with, and I couldn't... so I thought I'd post something irrelevant instead. Specifically, Glastonbury Tor:

Just to remind me that the sky is sometimes blue - which I find lifts the spirits a little when you're confronted with grey rainclouds, and there's a chilly wind blowing.

But gosh now, it's getting late and I have knitting to do. Over and out for today,
VCxx

I have happy feet

2008-03-15T18:48:00.001Z

"....♫ well that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, that's neat, I really love my monkey feet.... ♫"

Warning!

2008-03-14T18:41:00.001Z

Never leave a monkey unattended......

Muffin

Nuffin'

A properly vicious chicken

2008-03-13T19:14:00.000Z

Found this picture on a postcard. Think I've got some competition...

Exciting packages and monkey mania

2008-03-10T18:31:00.003Z

At the weekend I received a fantastic parcel of vicious-chicken-themed goodness from Working Mom Knits...

In case you can't see (apologies for the dodgy camera-work), there was a wind-up chicken... which lays eggs as it wanders along! And there was also a bag of spare 'eggs', and a box of little marshmallow chicken-ettes, some of which might have come to a bit of a sticky end already (they were very tasty).

So, thanks so much WMK!! I really enjoyed my chickeny parcel - you're very kind :o) I promise to send you a little something in return soon. And yes, I know I've been saying that for weeks now... sorry. The Post Office is definitely on my agenda for this week though. Probably. Possibly.

Moving swiftly on, another exciting thing popped through my doorbox today - double-sided monkey coasters! Hurrah!

Did I mention how much I love that monkey? And his tea? Oh, I did? OK, then :o)

And just while we're on the subject of that monkey, if you happen to like him as much as I do*, then you might like to look at this site, which is very entertaining and contains some hugely exciting news - described more fully in this press release. And if that wasn't enough for you, there's also this:

... although I'm a bit distressed by the fact that his voice appears to have changed.

However, on a final, cheerier note, I've just discovered these - and I really think I might need a pair....

*This may not actually be possible, because I will so fight you for the role of biggest fan... but I'm willing to let you like him nearly as much as I do ;o)

New chicken on the block

2008-03-07T17:37:00.001Z

Sorry, guys - I meant to post this last night, but I had a bit of a blue day and it just didn't happen in the end. Hopefully you will feel it was worth waiting for, though :o)

Today I wanted to show you my fab-arooney new doorstop!*

I came by Chickenhead (as I've taken to referring to my new door-holding buddy) after seeing a link to the fantastic Refab on a post by my blog pal Random. I love the vintage fabrics that Refab 'repurpose' to make their products with, and the chicken-design door-chappie just seemed quite 'me' somehow :o)

The NBM, however, being less into fripperies, looked at Chickenhead, looked at me, and just said "Kellogg's Corn Flakes". And I can see her point. But I suppose that is what I get for choosing a chicken that is made from such a beautiful shiny green fabric (and I really like the fabric - wish I had some more to make something out of!)

Anyhoo, that's all I have for today, so I will bid you adieu and wish you a happy weekend. Cheerio...

*The keen observers amongst you may remember that I only recently got a new doorstop, in the form of a disused chunk of railway track. But it's OK, I have justified the chicken purchase. My reasoning is thus: I have more than one door in my flat, therefore I should be allowed more than one doorstop. And the railway one was free. So please don't tell me off for what appears to be a new-doorstop addiction. I promise to stop now.... or soon, at least..... maybe just one more.... ;o)

Another pointless project complete

2008-03-04T20:29:00.001Z

Following a little bit of lateral thinking, I have made something for Shifter.

Shifter is a wooly person, known for his support of a certain brand of tea. Ergo, I have made him the perfect item: wooly tea!

At least, I thought it was perfect. But apparently, I may be wrong...

Please remove this ridiculous rubbish and bring me a real cuppa. Immediately.

Ah, well. Some you win, some you lose...

Knit-tastic

2008-03-01T18:20:00.007Z

Last time I posted, I told you that I had jumped on Moogsmum's bandwagon, and been and bought a crafting magazine for the sake of a cow sewing pattern. And I also mentioned how, since buying said pattern, I'd remembered that I can't really sew.

Unfortunately, the seed of cow-making had been sown (no pun intended), but I couldn't really face attempting the sewn moo just at the moment... so, I set about looking for a cow knitting pattern instead, because my skills of knit are slightly more developed than my skills of stitch.

And that is how I came to find myself buying this:

It's a Simply Knitting special (snazzily known as a 'bookazine', I think, because of its book / magazine hybrid qualities). I don't like everything in it, but I love these tiny cows:

They're part of a whole farmyard set, which are all quite nice - but it's really the cows that did it for me the most.

While I was taking pics, I thought I'd share with you some of the other designs, too. Firstly, for anyone who's participating in Lucy Locket's Bunny Hop Bunny Swap: if you happen to be stuck for a pattern, why not whip up one of these "Bunny Babes and Beach Boys"?

Because what every bunny really needs is a knitted bikini, right?

Or if you're feeling more risqué, you could even opt for one that's halfway out of her bikini:

I'm not quite convinced, myself... but the basic bunny is nice, so maybe I will adapt it to make a naked version one day.

Moving on, there's also a full knitted Noah's Ark:

I have neither the need nor the patience to make the whole set, but I am rather fond of this fella...

... so I might give him a try at some point.

There's also these gnitted gnomes which I've seen made by quite a lot of blogging folk in the past, and always quite liked:

It's the beard that appeals to me, I think - because you all know how strongly I feel about the perfect partnership of beard and knit.

And the last picture I have is of this hedgehog all ready for hibernation:

He's cute, but I doubt I'll be making him any time soon as I have no use for him (whereas, clearly, knitted monkeys and cows are my very lifeblood....)

So anyway. Apologies for the picture-heavy post, and award yourself extra points if you'd made it this far. I'm off to try and finish my current WiP so that the needles can be freed up for a cow (so excited!)

Happy weekend :o) VCxx

Updated to add: People seem quite keen on the pattern book, and I had trouble tracking it down initially, so I thought I'd just add that it can be bought online here. In the UK, it is also available from WHSmith, although I had to contact several branches before I found one that hadn't sold out! And I think it might be available in various other countries through 'real shops' if you're looking for a copy and don't want to (or can't) buy online.

Just a quick one

2008-02-28T20:59:00.000Z

Hello there dearies! Just thought I'd best put in an appearance on the ol' blog in case you think I've forgotten her again :o)

I actually meant to post last night, but then I went out on an impromptu 'date' with the NBM. We had a lovely time; we went to the flicks and watched Juno, which I can wholeheartedly recommend (we both enjoyed it, anyway). And beforehand we went for a cheap-and-cheerful tea at a Mexican restaurant. So a fun evening was had by all - and it was nice to do something a bit different of an evening.

The other very exciting thing about going out was that it took us past a newsagents, where I managed to find a copy of a magazine I was looking for. I had seen this post from Moogsmum and really loved the softie cow from a magazine she'd found (pic at the bottom of the post); being ever-willing to jump on a bandwagon, I thought I might attempt a cow of my own, so that's why I wanted that mag... only now that I've seen the pattern I'm feeling a bit daunted! I'm still going to give it a shot, but don't watch this space :o)

Erm... I think there was something else, possibly even including pictures.... but I don't seem to be able to remember what it was. So maybe I will just cut my losses and click 'publish' (the sure-fire way of remembering whatever I'd forgotten to say!)

This is very old

2008-02-25T17:46:00.001Z

..... so you have probably seen it before. But it is so great that I thought I would post it anyway, just in case anyone is unfamiliar with it. If your computer has speakers, turn them on; but if not, you do still get to play, because it's primarily a visual joy.

How fantastic is that? OK Go, I salute you.

(And just as an aside: I'm not usually a big fan of going to the gym, myself... but I'd be there like a shot if they decided to offer 'Synchronised Treadmill-Skating' classes - it looks like so much fun! So if Duncan Bannatyne or any of his ilk are reading this, you can have that idea for free. Although recompense in the form of discounted entry to my nearest 'STS' session would be much appreciated.)

I'm still here

2008-02-23T19:23:00.000Z

Here is the update from the Chicken Estate.

This is finished (hooray!):

Exhibit A: one newly-laid train line

But this is not finished:

Exhibit B: my personal work mountain

So, many apologies for the lack of blog posts here recently, and also the lack of comments on your own lovely blogs: I have been stopping by, but have not always been capable of ~~forming meaningful responses~~ stringing together more than two words at a time.

I do hope to return to a fuller service shortly. In the meantime, here are some pictures of soothing things that make me smile, and thereby prevent my head from feeling like it might explode. Firstly:

My new boots - half price from that nice Anne-Marie Brantano

(Actually, I'd appreciate your thoughts on these, because when I bought them - and when I wore them earlier today - I thought they looked quite classy... but now that I see this picture I fear they may make me look like a lady of ill repute, and/or an auditionee for the lead role in Puss in Boots. Neither of which are quite the look I was going for.)

Secondly, monkey, monkey, and thrice monkey:

All-pile-on!

And to finish, another gratuitous flower shot:

Please call back soon for more stop-gap photos of mundane items! Next time, I hope to bring you my epic masterwork - The cutlery drawer: friend or foe?

My inner geek speaks

2008-02-19T22:00:00.001Z

You have to accept the fact that you are either a) working too hard or b) a big geek when the highlights of your week include the following:

1) Receiving a fridge magnet in the post from a teabag manufacturer

Tea, Monkey, and a magnetic shed: what's not to love?

2) Discovering a fab use for a spare hunk of railway line:

My new doorstop

(Please don't ask how I came by said hunk of railway line. Suffice to say it was legal, and involved negotiation with an official rail-works employee. But I really don't want to start telling you about the re-laying of the railway line that runs past my flat. Or how it's taking place over one solid 100-hour shift, day and night. Because it wasn't too bad to start with. But today they have been angle-grinding track pieces (noisy), and dragging them along the line (ear-piercingly squealy), and using a sleeper-laying device complete with extra-loud horn for the announcement of its every move (noisy and squealy and irritating). So I'm not got going to tell you about any of that. Because I might cry. Instead I will concentrate on stuffing cotton wool in my ears and looking forward to sleeping at the weekend.)

And those really are the best bits of the week so far. I know what you're thinking: my life is sooooo exciting, right? Uh-huh. You betcha. Please don't be too envious :o)

Various valentines

2008-02-17T21:04:00.007Z

As part of Lucy Locket's Valentine Swap, the lovely Trashalou sent me a fabulous parcel, which arrived yesterday and contained all these great things:

There were delicious chocolates and homemade biscuits, some very pretty (and very soft) green wool, and two beautiful handmade items - a knitted flower brooch, and also a little cushion which had a knitted heart on the front, and the best little embellishment on the back:

AND, as the eagle-eyed amongst you may already have spotted - THERE WAS A OLD-SCHOOL PG TIPS CHIMP IN THE PARCEL TOO! HURRAH!! He made himself right at home hugging the NBM's tea mug:

I think he's going to fit in well around here :o) And just in case you were wondering, he opted for NBM's tea mug becasue he couldn't reach around my king-sized one. What can I say? It was first thing in the morning and I needed the caffeine...

So: thank you, thank you, thank you, Trashalou - it has been a pleasure to swap with you, in my very first swap. And thanks also to Lucy for organising it all :o)

And just quickly before I go, I've got a couple of other little Valentine bits to show you (a bit late I know - oops). Firstly, the flowers that my gorgeous girl brought home for me:

And secondly, something silly that I got for her:

Champagne marmite - possibly the most bizarre novelty gimmick ever. But the perfect gift for my marmite-loving girlie, who liked it a lot.

Right, that's all I have for today... except to leave you with another gratuitous flower shot.

Enjoy the start to the new week, all.
VCxx

Gosh, would you look at that?

2008-02-13T20:35:00.000Z

..... nearly a week's gone by: I've been neglecting my blogging responsibilites. I'm sorry. That last geektastic post must've taken it out of me more than I realised :o)

Anyway, the good news (depending on your pespective, naturally) is that I'm back again. And the bad is that I don't really have anything to report...

On the vaguely crafty front, I have actually been doing a few things - but not things that I can show you, I'm afraid. I finshed my gift parcel for my swap partner in Lucy Locket's Valentine Swap, and posted that off... but I don't want to spoil the surprise by posting any pics of the contents. And I also made a corsage-y-esque thing for my Mum's birthday, but I can't show you that becasue the only pictures I have are grainy, off-colour snaps on my phone, and I don't know how to get them from the phone to the computer. So I'll have to ask the NBM about that one and get back to you.

So anyway - have I waffled enough now for this to constitute a finished post? I do hope so.

Sorry for a post that defies the 'quality over quantity' maxim; I will try to be more interesting next time. And I'll bring pictures. Probably.

A very geeky thought-experiment

2008-02-08T21:05:00.000Z

Do you remember these fellas?

The Monkey Army

Well, back when they were being given away with boxes of PG Tips, ~~the NBM~~ some people seemed to think that five monkeys might be too many monkeys for one small flat. Discussions ensued; discussions along the lines of how many monkeys constituted too many monkeys; discussions where a proposed ‘NO MORE MONKEYS’ rule was debated. Anyhoo, suffice to say that the monkeys stayed, but their number was not added to.

But then, the other day, I read how many free monkey friends PG Tips gave away in total: it was 2.3 million. I’ll repeat that: TWO POINT THREE MILLION. Let’s all just take a moment to imagine 2.3 million monkeys, shall we?

........ it’s a beautiful thought, I know. But actually quite difficult to visualise.

This, for example, is only about 230 monkeys:

A fraction of 2.3 million (0.01%, to be precise).

2.3 million monkeys seemed like a fabulous, wonderful concept... but the concept was just not enough for me. There were two things that I really wanted to know, and those things were:

What would 2.3 million monkeys actually look like, in practical terms that I could understand?
What number of monkeys would officially be ‘too many’ monkeys for our small flat?

And that, kind reader, is how I came to find myself measuring a monkey, and working out its approximate volume, and then estimating the dimensions of our flat, and working out its approximate volume. And this is what I discovered...

If I took all the unnecessary things out of my flat – like all the furniture – and then packed little monkeys floor-to-ceiling, I’d get approximately 150,000 monkeys in there.

Artist's impression of 150,000 monkeys

So, even with the whole gaff bursting at the seams with monkeyage, It'd still only accommodate just 6.5% of 2.3 million. Thus, I’d need 15 or 16 of my flat if I wanted to house all the little monkeys. And I'd also need to sell all my furniture, obviously.

Now, for those of you who don’t know how big my flat is (which I’m guessing is all of you), I thought I’d do a quick conversion into more widely accessible terms….

… and the humble double-decker bus was my volumetric object of choice. And wouldn’t you just know it? It turns out that an average one of these has roughly the same volume as my flat! So, you’d need a fleet of 15 or 16 of these babies (with their seats and stairs and things removed) to store your collection of 2.3 million monkeys.

And do you know what? Even I had to agree that that, my friends, would probably constitute ‘too many’ monkeys.

And on that bombshell, this geek is signing off for today :o)

60-second post

2008-02-05T19:14:00.000Z

Can't stop long - on my way out for pancakes. And we can't be late because we're taking the batter (and because the NBM has a 'thing' about perfect punctuality... shame she's saddled with me really, as I'm not always strictly to time, despite my best intentions...)

Anyhoo, I digress. I'm really here to present a stop-gap post, with another gratuitous picture of Waldorf (sorry, Lucy - you'll get him soon, I promise!)

Here he is enjoying the dregs of his last mug of tea before I parcel him up to go to Lucy Locket. He's a little anxious about the prospect of several days in a jiffy bag without another cuppa, so Lucy, if you could get the kettle on now, that might be wise - you'll be all prepared for when he shows up, gasping for a brew.

Right, must go and take that batter to the waiting troops... Enjoy your pancakes, anyone who's having them!

And the winner is...

2008-02-03T18:40:00.000Z

At 6:00pm this evening, an independent adjudicator (the NBM) picked a name out of a bowl of names, to determine where little Waldorf would be heading off to.

This picture brought to you by curl-cam

It was a fair and impartial drawing (I made her shut her eyes), and after she'd had a bit of a rummage, the hastily-scribbled name that she picked out was....

LUCY LOCKET-POCKET!

So, hooray for Lucy! Lucy, if you could email me your postal address to the_vicious_chicken@yahoo.com then I'll get Waldorf packaged up and sent out to you as soon as I can :o)

Thanks so much to everyone else who left a comment - I really appreciated all your 100th post good wishes, and I was delighted that so many of you were willing to give Waldorf a good home. I'm just sorry you couldn't all win... I suppose I'll just have to have another blog giveaway soon.

Happy end-of-weekend to all, VCxx

We axe for what we want

2008-01-31T18:09:00.000Z

The Vikings were alive and well in a small corner of Bristol last night, when I hosted a tribute to Up Helly-Aa... or Up Hell's Alley Without a Fire Extinguisher, as somebody re-christened it (you know who you are)... which is really quite apt and has been making me giggle every time it comes to mind :o)

Thankfully, no extinguishers were needed: the Vikings-in-residence were very well-behaved, and the burning of the cardboard 'galley' (handmade by Mr Newlywed) went off without a hitch - nay, nor even so much as a single singed beard hair. Phew. Although there was one slightly nerve-wracking moment when a guest attempted to put out the final embers with the dregs from his glass of highly flammable whisky... Hmm.

Before...

... During...

... During again, this time more energetically...

... and After.

So, a good time was had by all (I think). And just before I move off the topic, a quick update for all you beard-fans out there: there was some passable beardage on display amongst the guests, but no-one else had knitted themselves any Instant Whiskers. Funnily enough. They did, however, ~~appreciate~~ laugh at my own attempt... but one guest asked if the beard could magically morph into a monkey, à la the cars/robots in Transformers. I despair, I really do: you give people the world, and they ask for the moon on a stick.

Not a monkey; but very cosy on a winter's night

Finally, on a completely unrelated note, Waldorf would like to say thanks so much to everyone who has entered my 100th Post Giveaway - he's been quite overwhelmed by the number of commenters who are willing to give him a safe new home. If you haven't entered yet, there's still plenty of time: just leave a comment on this post before Sunday evening.

Wanted: new owner for one small monkey. Fully housetrained. May smell slightly of tea.

100th Post Giveaway

2008-01-29T17:45:00.000Z

Can you help this monkey?

Waldorf

Waldorf is one of the few known members of the rare (and bizarre) Monkey-Martian species. Sadly, he is currently in urgent need of re-homing, in order to protect him from great peril in his current location:

Could you provide a good home for Waldorf? Waldorf likes cups of tea, bread-and-butter pudding, and listening to the radio. He dislikes sharp scissors, doing the washing up, and beards. He describes his natural habitat as "sitting on the sofa", but he is also very fond of being taken on day trips in nice handbags.

If you think you could help, please act now: leave a comment on this post by 6:00pm on Sunday 3rd February, and you could save Waldorf from the bearded monster in his life.

Thank you.

The small print:

1) Waldorf isn't at all fussy about where he goes to live, so comments are welcomed from all and sundry. If you've stopped by and haven't said hello before, now's the perfect time!

2) One comment will be drawn at random on Sunday to determine the winner.

3) Please come back to find out if you've been lumbered with him.

More of that beard; and an announcement

2008-01-28T18:04:00.000Z

Firstly, I must just thank everyone who responded so seriously to my plea for an axe knitting pattern..... but, guys: I was joking! I'm not going to knit an axe. I mean, honestly, what kind of crazy person do you take me for? (Please don’t answer that...)

Next, to those of you who implied that a knitted beard was in any way peculiar... well, I think you need to look at this:

Distinguished

It suits him, doesn’t it? Go on, admit it: it does! Thus, I feel that the creation of the beard was time (and yarn) well spent, because Shifter can wear it once my Viking party has taken place and I no longer need it.

Speaking of which, the party’s on Wednesday, and my costume is still a little on the minimalist side... in that I haven’t quite got round to doing anything other than the beard yet. But I expect it’ll all be fine: surely once the key piece has been completed, the rest just falls into place, right? No? Oh...

Crashing swiftly on, then: I have an announcement to make! If my rudimentary maths skills serve me right (doubtful, I know, but let’s wing it), I make this my 99th post. And that would mean that my next post will be... (does quick sum in head) my 100th! Hurrah!

Anyway, that being the case, it’s just possible that I may have knitted a little something for a 100th post giveaway......

..... but you’ll have to come back tomorrow to find out, because I couldn’t possibly spill the beans today :o)

Stylish and practical

2008-01-26T11:23:00.000Z

Just a quick post to share with you the ground-breaking new item I knitted up last night.....

Are you ready?

OK, then. I give you:

Knitted beard-and-tache combo!!

Obviously, it may have been better if I'd waited until I could have sourced yarn in a blonder shade..... but I was just TOO EXCITED about my new project to wait, so I knitted it with whatever I could find.

It's going to be the key piece in my forthcoming "Instant Whiskers" collection, and I think it's pretty snazzy, even with the colour-mismatch. I'll be quite the knittist-about-town with this strapped to my chops.

....... OK, OK, that last bit may have been a bit of a fib. You don't need to worry that I've finally gone right off my trolley.

I have, in fact, knitted this for a sane(ish) reason: I'm putting together a Viking costume, and felt that a beard was a key component. Because what self-respecting Norseman would be seen dead at a party without the adornment of some impressive face-furniture? None! Exactly. So, there you go: perfectly sane, after all.

Now, does anyone know where I can get a knitting pattern for an axe......? ;o)

Something wonderful for sock monkey fans to look at, sadly not made by me

2008-01-24T19:11:00.000Z

How cool is this?

[PS - this is my entry in the "shortest blog post ever" competition, sub-category "posts that are shorter than their own titles". You wouldn't want me to lose by writing more, would you? No, I thought not. You're far too nice for that.]

Picture me

2008-01-22T19:15:00.000Z

A few days ago, I saw this fun post from Lesley at Tintock Tap.

It's a sort of meme thing I suppose, but with a twist, and it was the twist that appealed to me: you answer some questions about yourself, and you type each answer into a Google image search. Then, for each question, you post one of the images from the first page of results.

I thought it sounded like fun, so I decided to play too... only then I discovered that Trashalou had tagged me with a s even random facts meme, by which time I'd already written most of this post. So, Trashalou: I'm responding to your meme pictorially. I hope you don't mind. I'm afraid you get twice what you bargained for though, because there are fourteen pics, not seven.

So here we go...

1) Age you will be on your next birthday:

2) Place you would like to visit:

3) One of your favourite places:

4) Your favourite object:

5) Your favourite food:

6) Your favourite animal:

7) Your favourite colour:

8) Name of a past pet:

9) Where you live:

(and may I just say, you should be thankful that I didn't go for this picture - I warn you, only click on the link if you have a strong constitution!)

10) First teacher's last name:

11) Your middle name:

12) A bad habit of yours:

13) Your favourite flower:

14) Your favourite holiday:

PHEW!! - all those pictures to upload. I'm quite exhausted now. But it was quite fun, though :o)
I'm not passing it on, but if anyone else wants to give it a go, do feel free - and please let me know if you do, so that I can come and have a nosey at your pictures!

You might as well face it...

2008-01-21T18:44:00.000Z

... you're addicted to baking, NBM!

As you may have seen from my last post, we currently have a rather large box of M&S biccies on the go at the house of chicken. Nonetheless, NBM decided yesterday that what we really needed were blondies:

... and lemon drizzle cake:

... and ginger biscuits:

Honestly, that girl just couldn't stop baking! It's just as well we had visitors round yesterday for afternoon tea (very civilised, don'tcha know), or we'd still be eating the home-bakes in a month! ..... wait, what am I saying?? That would have been good, wouldn't it? Damn, I missed a trick there....... :o)

Anyhoo, just to make things a bit more ridiculous, some of our visitors got the wrong end of the stick and brought yet more cake with them:

... but, sadly, they took it away with them again when they left, as they seemed to think we had enough already...... shame.

Anyhoo, in other news: while the ongoing writers' strike may have led to the cancellation of the Golden Globes ceremony, blogland awards abound at the moment... so much so, that I have somehow ended up with (fanfare, please) not one, but two awards! How exciting! So, thanks so much to Kitty for her 'you cheer me up' award:

and to Lesley, who gave me a 'best geek' award - cheers, Lesley ;o) (Oh, OK then - it may have been a 'spread the love' award, really. But in my heart it's for best geek!)

I've lost track of the passing-on rules for different awards, and I'd really like to cop out and say that I'm passing the awards on to everyone whose blogs I visit - because I like all of your blog homes. I wouldn't stop by if I didn't!

So, I'm going to give the 'spread the love' award to anyone reading this - because that seems in the spirit of spreading the love, right? - and then, since it seems churlish not to, I'm going to amalgamate the 'you make my day' and the 'you cheer me up' awards ("you make my day all cheered up?"), and bestow this new, hybrid, two-for-the-price-of-one award to: Kitty, Lauren, Lesley, Lucy Locket, Melissa, Michaela, Monkee Maker, paper-and-string, Trashalou, and Working Mom Knits.

I know you've all probably got the original two awards already, but I'm sure you'll find space on the mantle for another. Please don't feel that you have to start dishing them out again though, or things might get silly :o)

... and I'm now worn out from all that linking (and uploading of gratuitous homebakes photos), so I'm off now. Think I'll go and use up some of those ginger biscuits... it's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it :o)

My new accessories

2008-01-19T19:06:00.000Z

No, I haven't been shopping for shoes and handbags (sadly).

I've been to Staples and purchased these:

Wrist rest for keyboard.

Mousemat / wrist rest hybrid.

Thank you to those of you who made suggestions about being cautious regarding possible RSI / carpal tunnel syndrome - I'm going to get it checked out soon I think, but I thought these gel-filled cushion thingies might be a good idea in the meantime. Because heck, if they're no use as wrist supports, I can cut them up and use them to enhance my cleavage. (Seriously, the mousemat's a little chicken fillet-y for my liking. It's weird.)

I've never explored Staples properly before, and I was pleasantly surprised. I thought it would be mainly boring office supplies... but then I remembered that I'm actually quite keen on boring office supplies. What can I say? I just really like stationery. And it turns out they have fun stationery, too. I got myself these:

Ooooo*

And then, because sore wristage seemed like a great excuse for avoiding doing any work on the computer, I spent some of the afternoon on this:

Mmm, biscuits

... and some of it on this:

Mmm, knitting (and more biscuits)

Lauren, you'll observe that they are Marks and Spencer's biscuits, so I hope this will put your mind at rest regarding the calibre of the biccies we serve with our cups of tea - definitely no tat. I'll pop one in the post for you on Monday, along with that cuppa you wanted. OK? :o)

And Monkee Maker: obviously, wrist pain prevented me from walking to the shops for a RaWCC muffin. Oh no, sorry, my mistake - it was my extreme laziness that was the problem. Anyway, suffice to say that while the biccies were of excellent quality, they were clearly nowhere near as restorative as a muffin would've been. So next time you're passing, do feel free to pick one up for me. Ta. :o)

Anyhoo, I'd best be off as I've got laundry to hang (Saturday night round our place is a riot of entertainment. You can tell, can't you?)

*Please be aware that the inherent fun-ness of a metal ruler and a cutting mat is non-negotiable. Anyone who wishes to question this position should refer back to when I told you that I really like stationery. All stationery.

A short post...

2008-01-18T19:47:00.000Z

... because it hurts to type - I keep getting wrist pain when I use a computer which is a bit pants. Even worse, last night my wrist hurt when I tried to knit, too :o(

So, today's post is brief. Less typing. More knitting. And on the knitting front, fingers crossed my wrist will be OK today and that it just ached yesterday because I'd been at the computer all day beforehand. (Obviously that fingers crossed thing isn't literal: have you ever tried to knit with your fingers crossed? No, I thought not.)

So, I'll take my leave now, but I can't go without a quick piccie. It's terrifying, so please don't have nightmares:

Hairy Lee does King Kong

Happy weekend :o)

Health and Safety advice

2008-01-16T18:19:00.000Z

... courtesy of this fab card:

Please take heed!

Also, while I'm here, there is one other matter I need to touch on: does anyone else have Nellie the Elephant firmly lodged in their head now?? If so, you have my abject apologies. And if it's any consolation, I can reassure you that you're not alone, because SHE'S BEEN DRIVING ME TO DISTRACTION!! Grr.

Anyway, please don't let good old Nellie (or anything else) distract you from the important shoplifting info: do please remember the advice, and stay safe out there. (Especially you, lauren - I know you have trouble with your back at the best of times, and I wouldn't want you to go aggravating anything.)

:o)

Up and down

2008-01-14T21:34:00.000Z

This time last week I thought I'd have happy news to post, because my Mum was finally discharged from hospital after being there since the end of October. Unfortunately, when I heard about my Mum being discharged from one hospital, I also found out that my Grandma had been admitted to another, with a chest infection.

However, today my Gran was also discharged and allowed home - hooray! Good news indeed - just so long as no-one else in my family decides to adopt a "one out, one in" policy with regard to medical institutions!

On the other hand - albeit on a lighter note - I'm feeling irritatingly plagued with hormones today. So much so that I heard someone humming Nellie the Elephant earlier and nearly got a bit tearful.... look, it's quite sad when the Head of the Herd's far, far away, alright?? Not to mention how scary it must've been to say goodbye to the circus and head out on her own. Moving stuff.

(If you're not familiar with Nellie, you can hear a version of her song here. You only have to watch the first 30 seconds for the song; please don't feel you have to sit through the cartoon that follows. I didn't. Although I do seem to remember watching it quite a lot in my childhood... funnily enough, it seemed better when I was six.)

Anyhoo, that's me today. Unfortunately I haven't got any piccies to perk up this post, as the irritating hormones have also given me laziness and can't-be-bothered-itis, so I haven't taken any photos recently. Or made anything that I might be able to take photos of.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go and concentrate on a repeated episode of QI. Cheerio for now.

Words cannot describe

2008-01-11T17:03:00.000Z

... how much I love this cartoon by Doug Savage:

.... and I don't even know why. Curious.

But that's not really why I'm here today. The main thing I have to tell you is this very exciting news: the lovely Lesley has nominated me for a 'you make my day' award - thanks Lesley, I'm so touched! You make my day too :o)

Now, the next thing I'm supposed to do is nominate ten other people for the award, but I'm going to postpone that for a short while - I'm still dithering hither and thither about it, as I'm not sure I know ten other people in blogland (and certainly not ten people who haven't already got the award). These things require thought, and that's something which I'm not capable of on a Friday afternoon. Oh gosh, it's making me come out in cold sweats just thinking about the responsibility of it all... But watch this space and I'll come back to it, hopefully very soon.

Anyhoo, I'm off to brew up now as I think it's time for the inaugural cuppa of the weekend. Hurrah.

Necklaces

2008-01-09T20:40:00.000Z

A little while ago, I sent my blogging buddy Melissa a teeny tiny PG Tips monkey. Recently, I recieved a fab package from her in return, which contained this gift box (note the wrapping paper - it's an orignal piece of artwork that was designed and created by her little boy):

How lovely is that? Inside was something that's also very lovely - this cute monkey necklace:

Melissa, you're very kind (and talented) to have made this for me - I'm sure I don't deserve it, since all I did was send you something I got for free at the Supermarket! But thank you very much, anyway :o)

In other necklace news: to those kind commenters who helped me out with my Secret Santa dithering, I was pleased to see that my giftee wore her necklace today. It doesn't neccessarily mean she likes it, but I'm taking it as a good sign that she doesn't actively loathe it. Which is a good starting point, I feel.

And finally, I leave you tonight with the song that's been stuck in my head all week. I did a search for it on that famous video-sharing site, and the one below is the first that came up. So now I have the image of that man stuck in my head too. And he scares me slightly...

I'm just a map geek

2008-01-07T21:31:00.000Z

We went on a lovely walk yesterday through the deer park at Ashton Court, and my goodness, those beasties have some fearsome antlers.

Sadly, I didn't take a camera, which was very foolish. So, instead, I thought I'd post some pics from another walk we went on a while ago with the Newlyweds, at the Forest of Dean Scultpure Trail.

Here we are at the start of the trail. That wooden structure behind us in the first sculpture - a sort of giant chair thing.

Note how excited I am about being in charge of the map. Mrs Newlywed is more enthusiastic about her orange squash... and Mr Newlywed looks rather peeved, but don't worry about him: he soon cheered up when he found out that we had slabs of cake in our pockets.

Here we are at another sculpture (vaguely gravestone-esqe thingies, meant to symbolise deforestation, if memory serves):

Mr and Mrs Newlywed are having a meaningful conversation about the sculpture. I'm still engrossed in the map.

Just like I am here...

... and also here...

Honestly, maybe it would have been better if the map had just been printed with the words, "look up, you silly bint!"

I think I got my nose out of it eventually; certainly for long enough to take piccies of this:

and this:

But I think my favourite sculpture was this one:

The artist had taken a dead tree, and cut it into lots of different-sized cubes, and reassembled it into one massive cube that stood on the spot where the tree once grew. Poetic, innit?

I like to think that if I hadn't spent all that time studying that map so scrupulously, we might never have found it. That's my story anyway, and I'm sticking to it :o)

Socktastic

2008-01-05T18:33:00.000Z

As a Christmas present, my kind blogging friend Monkee Maker sent me this very tall sock monkey:

For some reason, she doesn't seem to think he's very good - but the NBM and I both disagree. We like him a lot. And not just because his extraordinarily long tail can be used to turn him into a fearsome Ninja-monkey:

Just call me Rambo

In fact, I liked him so much that I was quickly struck with a strong desire to rush out and buy a pair of colouful socks and attempt to sling together a sock monkey of my own....

... but I didn't. I did, however, purchase a pair of rather dull brown socks for the princely sum of £1 (thank you, Brantano footware sale), and spent last night creating this....

Sock dog sans eyes

Given that we're not exactly short of monkeys at our place, I thought I'd ring the changes with a sock dog. He's all done apart from some eyes (I can't find my buttons), and probably a collar - I'm thinking red. I followed a pattern from some pdfs I found here (although I think the pattern is a Martha Stewart thing originally).

So, it's all about the socks round our place at the moment.

Best Buddies

Now, I really must find those buttons so I can create the dog some eyes...

World's worst watch-dog overcome by striped bandit

Thought for the day...

2008-01-03T17:27:00.000Z

... courtesy of one of my Christmas presents:

Not sure that it is quite the truth, sadly, in our hectic world - but on a purely conceptual level, I'm inclined to agree. Although in my case, it should perhaps be, "Everything stops for tea... especially if said tea comes with free monkey merchandise" :o)

New year, same old obsessions

2008-01-01T18:59:00.000Z

So, OK, I might not quite have managed to finish drinking my collection of 1280 teabags yet. But yesterday I had to buy just one more box. Please don't be cross. Observe:

A monkey

A monkey hat

A monkey in a monkey hat

Simple pleasures, my friends; simple pleasures. Even more entertaining than the monkey-in-a-hat phenomenon is the back of the box of tea which contained the monkey hat. So much so that I felt the need to reproduce it for you below in all its glory:

If you want to read it all, you may need to click on it to enlarge - and if you get that far, please pay close attention to the third point in the list of excellent suggestions. Wise words indeed, as I'm sure you'll agree: if we are being honest, I think we can all admit that Yes! All too often we do accept laces not tied properly! This must change, for our own good. So please: tie the perfect bow. Be safe out there.

Oh yes, and keep drinking tea. I know I will be :o)

(PS many thanks to Random for the tip-off about the monkey hats. Random, I finally found my hat in... erm... the ninth supermarket I staked out, I think. What?? That's perfectly healthy behaviour, isn't it?)

No more whinging

2007-12-31T21:11:00.000Z

You can read on in confidence - VC's whinge corner has been retired again. You're safe.

Today I don't have much to say but I thought I'd post a few pictures as I've been feeling deprived of picture-posting capabilities while I've been away.

First up, since I said I would:

A good look, no?

And next, here is my mum's Christmas present from me:

Georgia

Not the colour-scheme I'd have chosen myself, but it's what my mum wanted - and I think it worked out quite nicely.

Next up, here are some rather sozzled monkey-fans (NBM's uncle and aunt):

And finally, NBM's winning entry in the grand Christmas day colouring competition (please don't ask):

And I think that's quite enough fun for now.... except to say:

Happy New Year to blog friends old and new, and any lurkers too - and best wishes to you all in 2008

from VCxx

Back again

2007-12-28T18:39:00.000Z

Hello blogland! Did you miss me? I missed you... well, I missed the Internet, certainly. But, as of earlier today, we are in Oxford (phase two of the visit-as-many-family-members-as-possible enterprise we seem to have set up for ourselves this Christmas), and in Oxford, the Internet connection is working - hooray!

The thing is, now that I'm back, I don't really know what to say... but I'm sure inspiration will strike if I just keep typing and hoping for the best. I haven't got any pictures yet, but I will be uploading some very very soon for your delectation. (Would you like to see the one of NBM wearing three Christmas-craker paper hats, all at the same time? It's a corker, I tell you.)

Ah wait, I know what you'd love to read - VC's whinge corner, today brought to you by supermarkets and motorways. My supermarket whinge is as follows: when a person is struggling their way round an incredibly busy supermarket with their propsective MiL, on the Saturday before Christmas, at lunchtime, trying to heap two very large trolleys with enough festive fare to feed either A) a small army or B) one very active Northern Biking Brother, and the whole experience is really starting to make them feel a tiny bit frazzled, what do you suppose would help calm their nerves? Because I am pretty sure that the answer is not, Mr Morrison, playing heavy techno trance over the loudspeakers.

And my motorway whinge is probably the same as everyone else's over the festive season - along the lines of it taking us three hours to travel 25 miles yesterday (nearly two hours of which was taken to cover a three mile stretch of the M6, giving an excellent average speed of 1.5 mph for that part of the journey.) As it was supposed to be the start of the 200-mile trip from Lancashire to Oxford, but it was dark and raining and gridlocked, and we were tired, we ended up turning around and aborting the journey. We regrouped and headed South again (more sucessfully) this morning.

Anyhoo, I think that's enough whinging for now. In cheerier news, most of the other things about the festive time have been good, so we should remain whinge-free for a while. I'm sure you're all be relieved to hear that, then :o)

Enough waffle for now - but I'll be back soon with piccies galore (just as long as the Internet doesn't fail me again, of course...)

Technical hitch

2007-12-25T18:27:00.000Z

In a first-things-first stylie: A very Happy Christmas to all of the lovely people out in blogland who have stopped by my chicken over the past few months - I hope you're having a lovely day whatever you are doing.

And now to the technical matter. I know I said I'd continue to blog while I was away. I had every intention of doing so. But then the Internet connection at NBM's parents' house had a meltdown and messed up my plans. Grr. So, I write this brief missive from the NBM's Uncle's computer. And I probably won't be back until at least Thursday when we'll be in Oxford, and hopefully be able to get online once more.

Anyway, Happy Christmas again, with love from VC and NBM (and not forgetting her Uncle, who sends big sloppy kisses, and love from the heart of his bottom. Funny man.) :o)

Reduced Service

2007-12-21T21:12:00.000Z

Welcome to the blandest of posts, in which VC announces that blogging around here may be a little under par for a wee while. This is because I am at the NBM's parents' house until next Thursday, giving me: A) limited Internet time and B) difficulties in uploading piccies.

So, while I shall continue to post over the festive time, my blog may be operating on a reduced-service basis. But I'm sure nobody will mind as you will all be too busy to read blogs anyway, at a time when you are doing festive things with your nearest and dearest (possibly including, although not limited to, those activities of a trying-not-to-drive-each-other-crazy variety.)

Right, I should now go and help with bed-making duties, and then it's back to the grindstone with Christmas knitting (is it possible to get RSI of the elbow from gift-based knitting endeavours??)

So much to tell you

2007-12-19T16:40:00.000Z

Well. Hello there, old friends! It seems I did it again, doesn't it? Fail to post on my blog for a while, that is. But I'm here now, and I have several days worth of exciting things to pack into one fun-filled post.

Firstly, thanks for all your helpful advice re: my Secret Santa gift; and particular thanks for being so kind about my necklace. The update for anyone who is interested is that the giftee may or may not have liked her gift - it was hard to say. Another colleague liked it very much though, so I know what to make her for her next birthday :o)

In more Secret Santa news, here is what I recieved from the game:

The rectangular thing is a bar of soap, and the rubber duck-shaped thing is a rubber duck - although it's quite an unusual one really, as it flashes crazy disco lights when you touch a sensor on its underside. Which is smashing, as now I can experience all the fun of a rave while having a bath (although I am a bit concerned that I might get electrocuted if I put it into the water - because the lights have got to be powered somehow, haven't they?)

In other news, I've been dutifully plugging away at my card-making, and things are looking promising - I now only have a few left to make, and they are for delivering by hand, so I don't need to worry that I'll have missed the last post.

Some of the fruits of my labours

On the knitting front, things are significantly less good - I still have two gifts to complete before the Big Day, one of which I've run out of wool for. Oh dear.

Crashing swiftly on from that, I wanted to show you this strange little thing:

Before: World's longest zip

After: a handy handbag!

I love the concept, and it is a curious thing, but it's more than a novelty: it's a perfectly functional bag when zipped up, and I think it looks quite nice. If you fancy a good laugh, you can go here and watch the hilariously cheesy advert for these bags. ("It's sassy and hip! It's the hip-zip!") Particular mention to the enthusiastic woman having coffee who points out that the bag would be perfect for her knitting!

And finally, I thought I'd share a picture of my Chirstmas tree, since I have enjoyed seeing other blogger's trees in all their decorative glory. Ours is a little unconventional:

Who says Christmas trees have to be firs?

We have a very small flat and we can't really fit a festive tree in, so we just hang baubles on the resident yukka-type-thing instead. I think it does a fine job (and those presents are secure from any potential thieves - that plant has the sharpest leaves in the land! Ouch!)

Right then, I'm off to appraise the knitted gifts situation. Or possibly bury my head in the sand about the whole thing. Cup of tea and a slice of denial, anyone?

Secret Santa

2007-12-15T21:06:00.000Z

Quick straw poll - do you think this necklace is an OK Secret Santa gift for my colleague?

The rules are £4 maximum spend, and I couldn't find anything for that amount that I thought she would like. So, I went to the bead shop and got some necklace ingredients, and I've just put this together. I'm hoping it will be OK as I know her taste in accessories is for quite simple stuff rather than anything complicated.

The thing I'm nervous about is giving a handmade gift in a Secret Santa, as not everyone might like the handmade vibe... although the good news is that the bits and pieces I used only cost £2.55, so I was planning to spend the remaining £1.45 on some chocolate to go with it; that way she gets something she'll like even if the necklace isn't a hit!

Let me know what you reckon, becasue I could always rethink the whole thing: like giving the necklace to someone else and spending all of the Secret Santa £4 on choccies...

No time to blog

2007-12-14T19:32:00.000Z

Got to make cards, write cards, finish making a couple of gifts, and wrap parcels before tomorrow morning's trip to the Post Office.

Someone needs to invent the 40 hour day... although, on second thoughts, I probably wouldn't have the stamina to make it through one of those :o)

Happy weekend all,
VCxx

Three is the magic number

2007-12-12T21:02:00.000Z

I have made three Christmas cards so far. This is not going to get me very far down my Christmas Card List, given that it has approximately 32 people on it at the moment.

Not enough

So, I am forsaking a full and witty blog post tonight in favour of heading off to do some cutting and sticking. Only another 29 cards to knock out....

A pleasant surprise

2007-12-10T19:27:00.000Z

At the weekend I did a favour for one of my colleagues, and today she got me these lovely things as a thank-you:

Oooh...

.... Ahhh.

I don't know that it was really deserved, but I feel very lucky, and I am very excited about all the little Green and Blacks choccie bars in different flavours. Yum.

I'd share them with you, only obviously I need to try all the different flavours myself, so as to make a fair comparison between them. I'm sure you understand.

;o)

Sorry

2007-12-09T18:35:00.000Z

I know I have been very quiet on the blogging front recently. I didn't mean to be - it just happened.

Anyhoo, I'm here today to tell you that I have nothing to say - but I'm going to say it anyway :o)

Erm... actually there are a few bits and pieces. Firstly, I had a lot of fun last night with some friends who told me about this website. You upload a picture of yourself, and using facial recgonition thingammyjobs, it tells you which celebrities you look most like. Which doesn't sound that entertaining, but somehow it was hilarious. Possibly becasue it was, of course, wildly innacurate.

I was told that I look most like Jennifer Connolly, Mischa Barton, or Hayden Panetierre - all of which is utter rubbish.

We then learned that NBM most resembles Hillary Clinton, Shirley Temple, or (my personal fave) Haley Joel Osment. It was at that point that we really began to doubt the highly sophisticated software used by the website ;o)

Do let me know if you give it a whirl yourself, and what the results are - plausible or otherwise :o)

Just before I go, I wanted to show you a photo I have been working on for my Christmas cards (possibly left it a little late for making these - oops). I ripped the idea shamelessly from an advert I saw in a newspaper, but I hope it will be OK given that I am just making a few cards to send to friends, not to sell or anysuchlike.

Festive

I may try to turn it into a card tomorrow - but I'm not very gifted that way, so it will probably just be the photo printed onto the front of a piece of plain card :o) I'll let you know if I get any more adventurous...

OK, who told them??

2007-12-05T21:06:00.000Z

I keep getting dirty looks.

And now they've taken Delaware hostage.

Apparently I will get him back "when my sense of humour improves considerably"....

.... but I'm hoping I can just bribe them with the many boxes of teabags I still have cluttering up the kitchen.

Negotiations continue.

I promised pictures....

2007-12-03T20:31:00.000Z

.... I lied. I have none.

But what I do have is a link to another website, which has pictures galore - all of which involve PG Tips monkeys! Huzzah!

But before I link to it, a couple of quick words of warning: firstly, it's probably not one for the kiddies. And secondly, monkey-lovers might find it a wee bit distressing. They might even find the whole concept in very poor taste. Personally, I am undecided; but I can't help finding some of the pictures very funny. And in the end, I think you have to laugh - you'd cry your eyes out otherwise.

As a quick guide: if you've seen Monkee Maker's blog post today, and you found that at all upsetting, then you'd be best to avoid my link. OK? Good.

Right then: if you do visit this site, don't say I didn't warn you. And please don't tell my Monkey Army what I said about finding some of it funny....

Slings and roundabouts

2007-12-01T17:24:00.000Z

.... Actually, no roundabouts. And only one sling.

To elaborate: today has been one of those days when nothing pans out quite as you expect. We were woken up by NBM's brother phoning to ask of the whereabouts of the nearest hospital with an A&E, because NBM's dad had slipped down some stairs and dislocated his shoulder. Ouch.

So, we rushed round and spent about four hours with them at the Bristol Royal Infirmary, after which NBM's dad was let out, complete with a newly-relocated shoulder, some heavy-duty painkillers, and a sexy sling - to stop his arm from falling off, presumably. I think that's what they're for?

NBM has now gone on a mercy-mission to drive him back home to Lancashire, as he is obviously not able to drive himself anywhere for a while. I'm holding the fort here in Bristol.

Annoyingly, I'm still feeling quite ill, but I'm trying very hard not to whinge, as I'm thankful that my shoulders have both remained safely housed in their rightful sockets all day. My mantra to repeat: not grumpy, not grumpy, not grumpy.... (continue as necessary).

Anyway anyway, having decided that "Hairy Lee wreaks havoc in Ward 7" was probably a photo-story best left to the imagination, I went to the BRI without a monkey on my person. So, I have no interesting photos for you today - sorry about that.

One last thing - thanks so much for the comments you have left to say you hope we feel better soon. NBM is now irritatingly healthy again, and I'm sure I'll be following suit imminently. Also, many thanks to anyone who has made it to the bitter end, and read this far in today's very wordy post.... Pictures next time. I promise.

VCx

Oh look

2007-11-30T20:31:00.000Z

I was sent a card this week:

Exhibit A: a sock monkey card

NBM's aunt saw it and thought of me. I wonder why? :o)

Not at all well yet

2007-11-28T19:19:00.000Z

Not feeling good. Brain kinda mushy.

So in lieu of a proper post, I just want to post a link to something that I found both interesting and pretty. It's an animation of the flight patterns of aircraft over the United States. You may well have seen it already, not least because I think it has been all over the Internet recently, but in the hope that it is new to you, here it is:

Interesting and/or pretty thing

Hopefully a fuller blog post next time, folks.

VC x

Scraping the barrel

2007-11-26T18:31:00.000Z

Not much to blog about today, so I had a little trawl through my photos and found a picture from a couple of weeks ago that I never got round to posting:

HP8 watches the ducks at Stafford Services.

Truly, we have shown her some wonderous sights. Admittedly, Stafford Services might not seem that glamourous, but as motorway service stations go, it's got to be one of the best. It's certainly in my top five. (Seriously, you can tell it's a cut above by the fact that it boasts a duck pond; how many other service stations greet arriving motorists with a sign saying "Caution - ducks crossing"?)

In fact, HP8 is well on her way to becoming a very well-travelled monkee: in addition to Stafford Services, she has been to Frankley Services, and Strensham Services. Oh, the things she has seen. For reference, she liked Stafford best, although she particularly enjoyed Frankley for the comedic potential of its name ("Frankley? My dear, I don't give a damn!").

Monkee Maker, I know you like your monkees to get out and about, so I'm sure you'll be delighted to hear that HP8 has seen something of the world. And I do promise to take her to a part of the world that doesn't feature the M5 or M6 quite so heavily, very soon.

In the meantime, if anyone has any suggestions for not-to-be-missed service stations, I'm sure HP8 would love me to arrange a visit for her. Anybody? No?

Still ill...

2007-11-25T18:52:00.000Z

.... but at least the knitting is coming on a treat, what with all this time spent lounging on the sofa. Yesterday's marathon of knitting resulted in the completion of an old project - a pair of mittens for the NBM. She demanded I put all monkey projects on hold until the mittens were finished. Which I suppose is fair enough, given that I said I'd make them for her for Christmas. Last year.

Anyway, they are now done. Here she is modelling them:

She's very shy about appearing on the Internets, and doesn't want to show her face, but you can see her beautiful, beautiful curls. You can probably also guess that she quite likes stripes.

On an entirely different note, I thought I'd leave you with this fab advert which I've seen a couple of times over the weekend. Just because I think it is lovely:

Little Wooly Hats - on the shelves now!

2007-11-24T17:47:00.000Z

Yuk. The NBM and I both have the lergie. However, the situation is not all bad: the plus side is that I've spent my day sitting on the sofa in my pyjamas, knitting and watching soothing telly (Columbo, mainly. I love him!)

Anyhoo, the upshot is that I don't have much to blog about, so I thought I'd just post this pic that I made the NBM snap with her phone while we were in the Sains, earlier this week:

Cosy-headed smoothie bottles

Nearly 400,000 little wooly hats have been made for The Big Knit, and these are now in the shops, adorning every chilly little bottle of Innocent smoothie! It's a happy win-win situation: the bottles are toasty-warm, and Age Concern get 50p for every hatted bottle sold.

Oooh, AND, there's an added advantage: if the purchasing customer happens to have a very small monkey with a chilly head, they can recycle the hat afterwards for monkey-noggin warming purposes. Hypothetically speaking, you understand.

Ugh, I feel ill. Time to head back to the sofa.

One of the many reasons why I love the NBM

2007-11-22T17:40:00.000Z

My Nothern Baking Monkey may have decided to rebrand as the Northern Biking Monkey, but she still fits in a spot of baking now and then.

These are her absolutely fantastic, best-in-the-world chocolate brownies:

Note the drooling HP8 in the background. I made the mistake of telling her that I didn't mind sharing, given that there were twenty-four brownies...

"Excellent - one for VC, twenty-three for HP8!"

I'm off to wrestle them away from her now before they all disappear. Happy evening to everyone - and an especially Happy Thanksgiving to any American folks who happen to stop by :o)

Mr Fluffy Head

2007-11-20T20:49:00.000Z

I finally finished my latest project.....

Hairy Lee

He's very acrobatic, and has been enjoying swinging around in the house plants:

In case you were wondering, Hairy Lee is very closely related to the Monkey-Martian breed epitomised by Wilmington; he's an Orangu-martian. Or a Smash-utan. Or something.

We are family

Hairy Lee is my first foray into the world of knitting with 'fun' yarns, which I was initially apprehensive about. However, using the fluffy stuff was less challenging than I had thought it might be, and knitting him was ok - although sewing him up was tricky.

Anyway anyway, that's all I have for you tonight. Time to go and cast on something new, I think - and try not to get too stressed out by Spooks, which the NBM will insist on making me watch... I'm just not cut out for high-octane drama...

People are very kind

2007-11-19T17:58:00.000Z

A while ago, I sent my blog pal Lauren a teeny tiny PG Tips monkey, and at the end of last week, a lovely thank-you package arrived from her. Isn't that nice?

This is the first thing I saw when I unwrapped the brown paper packaging:

"Hooray!" sez I, "Omaha steaks - how did Lauren know that I've just run out of these? But it does say 'keep frozen'... I hope they haven't thawed out too much during their Atlantic crossing..."

But of course, it turned out that it was just the packaging box - silly me. I didn't need to be the least bit disappointed though, because look at what was inside:

This is heaps better than Omaha Steaks!

The wrapped parcel contained these brilliant badges, which match the wrapping paper I used when I sent Lauren's monkey:

And inside the envelope was this beautiful hand-made card:

I'm sorry it's not the best picture - poor light when I took it - but I hope you can see how fab it is. Also, I hope you can see how resourceful Lauren has been: she cut out the monkeys from my wrapping paper and included them on the card! Resourceful, clever, and talented Lauren.

So: thank you, thank you, thank you, Lauren - you are very kind :o)

Right, that is enough blogging for one day - I'm off to try and finish my current knitting project, more of which soon... watch this space...

Is it raining cats and dogs?

2007-11-18T22:02:00.000Z

Why, no - it's snowing a heron! Well, that's what it looked like, anyway...

I'd better explain: we've just driven home from Lancashire, and it was snowing/sleeting for quite a bit of the way. Somewhere near Birmingham, when the snow/sleet was at its heaviest, a heron suddenly swooped across the carriageway and landed on the hard shoulder! I was so excited (trust me, you would've been, too, given how monotonous motorways tend to be otherwise. Especially in the dark.) Sadly, I have no photographic evidence as it all happened too fast.... :o(

I do wonder if this is a common phenomenon. I'm intrigued, in fact. So, if you have ever experienced any freak weather incidents involving wildlife, do please share. Has a gust of wind ever brought you a salmon? Have you ever seen a gibbon swinging on a sunbeam? I'd love to know :o)

Sorry for the short, pictureless post - hopefully tomorrow's will be a bit longer, AND have photos for your perusal. But probably no snow-herons; and really, what more could you want?

Happy weekend

2007-11-16T19:08:00.000Z

I thought I'd finish off the week with a more sedate picture of this pair - just so's you'd see that they don't always get manhandled and mistreated...

Bless 'em - sat together on a park bench like an old married couple. Of course, this picture was snapped shortly after the basketball incident, so they were probably just trying to catch their breath. Or hatch an escape plan, perhaps!

Enjoy your weekends, whatever you get up to :o)
VCx

the vicious chicken

Yeah, I know...

Getting Christmassy... and some long overdue "thank you"s

You might expect...

Can't blog... far too busy behaving like a headless chicken...

Hello...

Reasons to be cheerful...

Wreck this journal - it begins

Wednesday giggles

Has anyone seen my crafty mojo??

Don't forget!

I am very proud of my knees

If I've done my sums right...

I'm still here

Bumblewatch

Connections

A packaging gimmick that might just catch on...

SunWalk report

You guys are the best

Bra update

Getting it all out in the open

Back on the blogwagon...

ISTWIWOAAAILI Saturdays #4

ISTWIWOAAAILI Saturdays #3

'I saw this when I was out and about and I liked it' Saturdays #2

A bid for freedom... and a request for advice

Introducing a new Saturday feature...

The Vicious Magpie

You'll never believe this

Birthday reprised

Celebrating...

Nearly there

Guest Post Three: Guilty Pleasures (or are you rrrready!)

Treading water

Third day in a row!

You have to laugh...

Sofa, so good

Guest post 2 - Monkeying Around at Bristol Zoo!

Sabbatical

Little Rosie Probert*

A brief update

It's sad, but it's still funny...

Happy Birthday NBM!

More fabulous chickeney giftage

Time to myself

I have happy feet

Warning!

A properly vicious chicken

Exciting packages and monkey mania

New chicken on the block

Another pointless project complete

Knit-tastic

Just a quick one

This is very old

I'm still here

My inner geek speaks

Various valentines

Gosh, would you look at that?

A very geeky thought-experiment

60-second post

And the winner is...

We axe for what we want

100th Post Giveaway

More of *that* beard; and an announcement

Stylish and practical

Something wonderful for sock monkey fans to look at, sadly not made by me

Picture me

You might as well face it...

My new accessories

A short post...

Health and Safety advice

Up and down

Words cannot describe

Necklaces

I'm just a map geek

Socktastic

Thought for the day...

New year, same old obsessions

No more whinging

Back again

More of that beard; and an announcement