Wednesday, 31 October 2007

What time is it?

I propose that there should be a new rule, in the Big Book of Rules, that states:

"Whensoever the very confusing happenings take place, happenings in which there is a dallying 'twixt Greenwich Mean Time and British Summer Time (not forgetting the Daylight Savings Time whereof who can know whether 'tis other or which?), then shall it NEVER come to pass that timepieces may break and become lifeless, for a stopped clock is as helpful as a chocolate teapot and adds much extra confusion to the very confusing happenings of the Dallying of the Times.”

(The rule may need sharpening up a little before it goes in the Big Book. Otherwise there will be no room for any more rules. Truly, my verbosity knows no bounds.)

My reason for requesting the new rule is this: my watch is broken, and being the awkward little bugg so-and-so it is, it decided to give up the ghost in the small hours of Sunday, right about the time when all the clocks were falling back here in Blighty (“Spring forward, Fall back”, don'tcha know: a handy wee aide memoir there. Or it might be, if we didn’t call Fall 'Autumn'... Tsk.)

Granted, it shouldn’t have confused me as much as it did, but bear in mind that I am a simple creature who gets mixed up really quite easily.

So imagine my puzzled brow when I got back to work this morning after my time off, only to discover that none of the clocks there had been put back yet, AND SOME OF THEM HAD STOPPED COMPLETELY TOO! Which confused me all over again, and made me feel a bit like I’d stepped into the very Vortex of Time (You may think this an excessive reaction on my part, but bear in mind that it was still quite early in the morning, I hadn’t ingested any caffeine yet, and most of my brain was still at home in bed.) BUT, I didn’t use my confusion as an excuse to leave work an hour early today, despite being sorely tempted to do so. Are you impressed?

Soooooo, given all the complications inherent in actually using a numerical system of horology, my new philosophy on the whole time issue is thusly-wise: What time is it? Why, time for a cuppa, of course!

In fact, bearing in mind how many boxes of tea I now have that need using (here’s why), it’s always ‘time for a cuppa’ chez chicken.

It will be ‘time for a cuppa’ FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF ALL TIME.

Let this be a warning to you all.

Now: anyone care for a top-up?

PS Crap, I think the kettle just joined my watch and gave up the ghost too. Looks like it will never be 'time for a cuppa' EVER AGAIN :o( :o(


Kae said...

I'll join your quest to get that rule in the Big Book of Rules!!! All this forward/backward malarkey confuses me as well... and that's without a broken watch (well, ok... without watch at that... I don't have one). Three cheers for my trusty mobile that in its cleverness works out the correct time on its own - I'd be lost without it!! (And late/early for work depending on time of year... shocking!)

You better get yourself a new kettle... Would be a shame to let all the supplies of theanine go to waste!! And besides... who can possibly start a day without a brew??? Horrible thought...


Viv said...

New mission for my London visit: get lifetime supply of PG tips. And mini-munkehs.
BTW re: DST issues - I don't mind falling back so much. But "springing forward" - eeew.

Off to pack now...

lauren said...

i firmly agree! ours hasn't even started yet b/c they have extended it, apparently, which i guess means we WERE in it and now are coming out?! ...which seems wrong...but anyway...

ordinarily last weekend *would've* been the change, but wasn't. HOWEVER...apparently our vcr didn't get the memo & re-set itself without telling us...& thus i missed lovely jane horrocks in the amazing mrs. pritchard sunday night. (that's TIME OFFENSE #1) ...then...i go into work and ONE computer thinks it is an hour later than the other one does...and the credit card machine is no help, being on military time which i find confusing anyway. (TIME OFFENSE #2) oh yeah...and re the computers...apparently NONE OF US...including the owner...have the clearance/password necessary to change the times so they are the same!

in conclusion, all i have to say is: "daylaahht savings toime you're aahht of ordah!!"

(so far our kettle is ok tho!) :)

monkee maker said...

Oh heck, it sounds like all the vitally important equipment in life is conspiring against you. It'll be the toaster next and then you'll really be in trouble.

Verbosity. What a totally fabulous word - love it! And damn and blast you, now I have to find my dictionary to find out what horology means. When I can extract my big fat lazy botty from this sofa cushion .... some time in the early hours probably - depending on whose watch you're looking at.

I FINALLY found me a tiny chimp at Sains last night and I ONLY BOUGHT ONE BOX!!! How restrained was that??

trashalou said...

Verbosity ok b/c Big Book verrrrrry BIG.